The Changing Face of Marriage

    In my family, the 'domestic church' does not exist. My mom is the head of our house instead of my father, but I do not really see the problem with that. In my opinion, there should not be a "head of the house" because parents should equally be in charge of the house by jointly paying bills, buying food, and loving their children. Therefore, my future family will have "heads of the house," if that makes sense. While my family continues to pray before meals, we never go to church, not even on holidays. We used to, but our lives became too busy for church as horrible as that sounds. The pro of the changing structure of marriage and family are that children have a choice to believe in the Catholic church or not, instead of being forced to attend endless masses every Sunday. On the other hand, the cons of this change include a deteriorating sense of spirituality in the home and less time for bonding over religion since everyone has their own busy lives to attend to.
    I am shocked by the Pew Trust's discovery that those with college degrees tend to have happier marriages because I never thought about how deeply a degree could contribute to a long-lasting relationship. That being said, I do not fully believe this discovery because there are plenty of relationships that last even though one or both partners do not have a degree. On the other hand, I understand how a degree could affect a marriage because a person without a degree tends to make less money, which can lead to financial problems in the marriage and eventually a divorce. In my opinion, I hope to marry someone who has a college degree. I want to be in love with a person who treats me well and appreciates me, but I also want someone who I am compatible with intellectually. Although there are many people who are intelligent but do not attend college, the likelihood of me meeting such people are slim because I will constantly be surrounded by college graduates in college, graduate school, or in my career. I do not feel compelled to establish the 'domestic church' in my home because I want my children to choose what they want to believe in. I never saw the point in going to church as a child because I would always focus on other people in the church, and all I wanted was to receive communion and go home. Therefore, I want to give my children the option to choose the church lifestyle when they are old enough to decide what they want to believe in.

Dating & Marriage

From reading these two articles, I think my intentions in a relationship lie in the middle. I do not believe a relationship should be completely devoted to self-sacrifice yet the commitment should also not be about just one of the people involved. Instead, a successful relationship should be a compromise in which two people agree to put the other's needs and feelings before their own but also each person makes time for himself or herself. Additionally, I agree that being in a relationship with someone can make me grow as a person as said in the NY Times article because new experiences and viewpoints can help me open my eyes to new ideas. Because of this, my intentions are to find a happy medium between the Church's teaching of self-sacrifice and the NY Times' idea of self-expansion. I want a loving relationship where I can be truly comfortable with the other person, meaning we can still stand one another even when one of us is in a horrible mood or does not feel like talking. I plan to look for other qualities, including honesty, trust, communication and commitment, when I start searching for a serious partner in life. Although I want all of these things, I have my doubts that this will actually happen because no relationship is ever perfect. Therefore, I just want to be in a relationship where we accept one another for who we are, flaws included.

In regards to modern society, my views do not coincide with the majority of relationships today. Most relationships and marriages are filled with either trust issues, lack of communication, or selfishness. It is rare for relationships to include all of my idealistic intentions. Additionally, most relationships end now because the people involved do not know each other on a deep enough level to remain together for long periods of time. Their relationships were based off of convenience, finances, or attraction instead of real love. Furthermore, my intentions do not reflect Christian values because I do not believe in complete self-sacrifice in relationships. If I sacrifice my needs for another person, I cannot be sure that the other person is doing the same for me so doing that is pointless in my mind. Modern society and Christian values depict opposite spectrums of relationships because society shows meaningless hook-ups while the church shows unrealistic long-term relationships based on commitment. My intentions reflect neither modern society or Christian values, but they are perfect for me.