Dating & Marriage

From reading these two articles, I think my intentions in a relationship lie in the middle. I do not believe a relationship should be completely devoted to self-sacrifice yet the commitment should also not be about just one of the people involved. Instead, a successful relationship should be a compromise in which two people agree to put the other's needs and feelings before their own but also each person makes time for himself or herself. Additionally, I agree that being in a relationship with someone can make me grow as a person as said in the NY Times article because new experiences and viewpoints can help me open my eyes to new ideas. Because of this, my intentions are to find a happy medium between the Church's teaching of self-sacrifice and the NY Times' idea of self-expansion. I want a loving relationship where I can be truly comfortable with the other person, meaning we can still stand one another even when one of us is in a horrible mood or does not feel like talking. I plan to look for other qualities, including honesty, trust, communication and commitment, when I start searching for a serious partner in life. Although I want all of these things, I have my doubts that this will actually happen because no relationship is ever perfect. Therefore, I just want to be in a relationship where we accept one another for who we are, flaws included.

In regards to modern society, my views do not coincide with the majority of relationships today. Most relationships and marriages are filled with either trust issues, lack of communication, or selfishness. It is rare for relationships to include all of my idealistic intentions. Additionally, most relationships end now because the people involved do not know each other on a deep enough level to remain together for long periods of time. Their relationships were based off of convenience, finances, or attraction instead of real love. Furthermore, my intentions do not reflect Christian values because I do not believe in complete self-sacrifice in relationships. If I sacrifice my needs for another person, I cannot be sure that the other person is doing the same for me so doing that is pointless in my mind. Modern society and Christian values depict opposite spectrums of relationships because society shows meaningless hook-ups while the church shows unrealistic long-term relationships based on commitment. My intentions reflect neither modern society or Christian values, but they are perfect for me.