The Changing Face of Marriage

    In my family, the 'domestic church' does not exist. My mom is the head of our house instead of my father, but I do not really see the problem with that. In my opinion, there should not be a "head of the house" because parents should equally be in charge of the house by jointly paying bills, buying food, and loving their children. Therefore, my future family will have "heads of the house," if that makes sense. While my family continues to pray before meals, we never go to church, not even on holidays. We used to, but our lives became too busy for church as horrible as that sounds. The pro of the changing structure of marriage and family are that children have a choice to believe in the Catholic church or not, instead of being forced to attend endless masses every Sunday. On the other hand, the cons of this change include a deteriorating sense of spirituality in the home and less time for bonding over religion since everyone has their own busy lives to attend to.
    I am shocked by the Pew Trust's discovery that those with college degrees tend to have happier marriages because I never thought about how deeply a degree could contribute to a long-lasting relationship. That being said, I do not fully believe this discovery because there are plenty of relationships that last even though one or both partners do not have a degree. On the other hand, I understand how a degree could affect a marriage because a person without a degree tends to make less money, which can lead to financial problems in the marriage and eventually a divorce. In my opinion, I hope to marry someone who has a college degree. I want to be in love with a person who treats me well and appreciates me, but I also want someone who I am compatible with intellectually. Although there are many people who are intelligent but do not attend college, the likelihood of me meeting such people are slim because I will constantly be surrounded by college graduates in college, graduate school, or in my career. I do not feel compelled to establish the 'domestic church' in my home because I want my children to choose what they want to believe in. I never saw the point in going to church as a child because I would always focus on other people in the church, and all I wanted was to receive communion and go home. Therefore, I want to give my children the option to choose the church lifestyle when they are old enough to decide what they want to believe in.

Dating & Marriage

From reading these two articles, I think my intentions in a relationship lie in the middle. I do not believe a relationship should be completely devoted to self-sacrifice yet the commitment should also not be about just one of the people involved. Instead, a successful relationship should be a compromise in which two people agree to put the other's needs and feelings before their own but also each person makes time for himself or herself. Additionally, I agree that being in a relationship with someone can make me grow as a person as said in the NY Times article because new experiences and viewpoints can help me open my eyes to new ideas. Because of this, my intentions are to find a happy medium between the Church's teaching of self-sacrifice and the NY Times' idea of self-expansion. I want a loving relationship where I can be truly comfortable with the other person, meaning we can still stand one another even when one of us is in a horrible mood or does not feel like talking. I plan to look for other qualities, including honesty, trust, communication and commitment, when I start searching for a serious partner in life. Although I want all of these things, I have my doubts that this will actually happen because no relationship is ever perfect. Therefore, I just want to be in a relationship where we accept one another for who we are, flaws included.

In regards to modern society, my views do not coincide with the majority of relationships today. Most relationships and marriages are filled with either trust issues, lack of communication, or selfishness. It is rare for relationships to include all of my idealistic intentions. Additionally, most relationships end now because the people involved do not know each other on a deep enough level to remain together for long periods of time. Their relationships were based off of convenience, finances, or attraction instead of real love. Furthermore, my intentions do not reflect Christian values because I do not believe in complete self-sacrifice in relationships. If I sacrifice my needs for another person, I cannot be sure that the other person is doing the same for me so doing that is pointless in my mind. Modern society and Christian values depict opposite spectrums of relationships because society shows meaningless hook-ups while the church shows unrealistic long-term relationships based on commitment. My intentions reflect neither modern society or Christian values, but they are perfect for me.

Dating: What's the Point?

The whole point of dating is to discover more about not only another person but also yourself. It is a journey that is necessary for everyone because if we do not know ourselves, how can we possibly be able to care for another person during marriage? Although the anti-daters have a point, I strongly disagree with their belief that our method of dating is a "practice for divorce." Personally, I could never marry someone without having previous relationships before them because I need to explore my options and see what qualities I want in someone I hope to spend the rest of my life with. Also, a relationship with someone who is more than a friend permits people to grow spiritually and alter their views about the world through various experiences shared with the other person in the relationship. Hence, I agree with the views shared by Freitas and King because dating truly is a growth process based upon one's own views with the understanding that everyone is not going to have physical relationships with every person they meet. People just want to discover more about themselves and learn how to care for others. In regards to myself, my peers and I think the same way because we all have either began dating or we talk to significant others. We do not know who we will marry, but we have learned more about ourselves and what personalities we are compatible with through our experiences.

In 2012 many people fail to realize the consequences of hooking up because they are too focused about what is occurring right at a particular moment. The actions we make at one point can truly affect us in the long run. This is true with hooking up because although it has various interpretations, it can seriously damage potential relationships with friends. Additionally, girls prefer "real" relationships opposed to the spontaneous hook ups guys usually enjoy. Instead of committing to another person, guys, and sometimes girls, feel accomplished when they "get some" from a person who they really do not care about. Hooking up may seem fun in the moment, but this can ruin a future relationship because it is already based on physical pleasure before any emotional connections have set in. The views shared in the book are a stark contrast to the hook up culture prevalent in colleges now because people, such as Freitas and King, promote dating before marriage, but they also promote having an emotional connection and learning experience with the other person involved. I doubt they would condone hooking up just for pleasure or because everyone else is doing it because then the relationship would be going nowhere.

Some Say Love...

Love is present in every aspect of life. Therefore, love can have many different meanings, such as happiness or commitment. When I eventually enter a committed relationship, I hope to find these meanings, but I also know that love requires sacrifice in order to make the other person in the relationship happy. Additionally, love is not something that can be rushed because, as the article states, love is not demanding. Instead, love is patient and kind, and true love endures all things, good or bad. In my opinion, these characteristics of love are nice to think about, but I do not believe all of these characteristics can be found in one person to make them my soul mate. Actually, I do not believe in soul mates because I do not think you can search for a soul mate if you do not know what to look for as the article states. If I do not know what to look for, how can I be sure that I have found my soul mate? On the other hand, I think everyone has more than one person that they are automatically drawn to, and they just have to pick the one they want to spend the rest of their life with. In the songs listed below the characteristics of love can be found, and they show love in its versatile forms.

"We Found Love" by Rihanna

In this song, Rihanna describes her relationship with another person she met in which she realizes how much she likes him. She is surprised to have met this person that seems right for her because she has already accepted that this kind of love would never occur. This is a great message about love because the lyrics show that love is patient and that it may not occur when we look for it. Sometimes, love just happens.

Shine a light through an open door
Love and life I will divide
Turn away cause I need you more
Feel the heartbeat in my mind

"How to Love" by Lil Wayne

In this song, Wayne describes a woman who tries to find love, but she can't because she does not know how to even love herself. Once again, love is described as something that cannot be searched for. Instead, love must come to the person since love is always patient. Additionally, we cannot look for love if we do not have respect and care about ourselves because we cannot give love until we understand it ourselves.

You had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heart

Never really had luck, couldn't never figure out

How to love

"My Cherie Amour" by Stevie Wonder

This is one of my favorite songs because Stevie Wonder wrote it about his daughter, but he also intended the song to be for his significant other. This song shows how love is also about a desire to be with someone all the time. Also, this song shows that love requires dedication and time to someone in order to truly show him or her how much they mean to you.

My cherie amour

Pretty little one that I adore

You're the only girl my heart beats for

How I wish that you were mine

"Complicated" by Rihanna

This song describes an extremely difficult relationship between two people who deeply love each other. The lyrics of this song convey a strong message that love is not always happy. People have a view that love enables people to never be angry with each other, but that is a distorted belief. Actually, troubles are supposed to occur in a relationship because if two people love each other, they will figure a way to solve their problems.

Sometimes I get you

Sometimes I don't understand

Sometimes I love you

Sometimes it's you I can't stand

"I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston

This is one of my favorite songs because it exemplifies that love lasts for eternity. In my opinion, this is the most important meaning of love because an eternity is a long time to be emotionally and physically attached to someone. Although they may not be your soulmate, this person plays a key role in your life, and it is almost impossible to stop loving them, even during rough patches of a relationship.

If I should stay

I would only be in your way.

So I'll go, but I know

I'll think of you every step of the way.

And I

Will always love you

I will always love you.

As we go throughout our day, we are bombarded with various advertisements that tend to have sexual undertones that we may not even notice.

In the picture on the left, American Apparel is marketing its "Classic Girl" line. Personally, I do not think there is a connection between the product and the advertisement because the model is standing in her panties. Actually, this picture is ironic because American Apparel wants to bring attention to clothes yet the woman portrayed does not have any clothes on. No, I do not think this advertisement is appropriate because the viewer of this image is not receiving any information on clothes or American Apparel. Instead, people are just seeing a pretty woman dressed scantily. Additionally, the stereotypes that woman must be wearing the least amount of clothes and be extremely skinny are also shown through this picture. Furthermore, there are other ways to market clothes besides this, such as actually showing the clothes in the "Classic Girl" line or showing the American Apparel store. In regards to the consumer, I think the consumer perceives the advertisement to be trashy, and I doubt the image has an impact on the consumer because there is basically nothing for anyone to gain from looking at this advertisement.

Additionally, our perception of sexuality is distorted in the picture on the right as Dakota Fanning is shown displaying Marc Jacobs' perfume. Furthermore, this is a provocative advertisement because the perfume is cleverly placed in Fanning's crotch, simulating that she has male genitals. Once again, no connection can be made between the product and the image in the advertisement because perfume is never sprayed near a person's private areas. In my opinion, this image is not appropriate because, although subtle, there is a strong sexual tone to this picture. Yes, stereotyping is evident because the image portrays a need for a woman to be sexually depicted in order to attract attention. Moreover, there are various methods to advertise perfume, such as showing a model spraying it on herself or attaching a free sample to the advertisement. Finally, this image has a strong impact on the consumer because it can severely offend some women since it is incredibly inappropriate. In addition, this consumer has the idea that the perfume should be used for sexual purposes, which many people may not desire for themselves.

Identifying My Identity

As I reflect on my life so far, I realize that numerous factors have affected my identity today, but only a few stand out as being memorable.

1. One of these factors was getting accepted into the University of Pennsylvania in early December. Honestly, that day was the best day of my life because Penn was, and obviously still is, my first-choice college, and I could not see myself at any other college for the next four years. Because of this, I was elated when I logged onto the website and discovered that I had been accepted. This experience affected my identity today because I realized that I could finally calm down. For the past four years, I have been stressing about having good grades, a high gpa, and numerous extracurriculars to ensure my college resumé was appealing while still managing to have a social life and time for my family. Additionally, my acceptance made me realize how much I stress about things that do not actually matter. Obviously, school is important, but I realized that I also need to enjoy my time in high school because I only go through this experience once. Overall, my acceptance into Penn has made me more aware of the precious time I have now and how much I need to cherish it.

2. Another factor that affects my identity is the Mount. Over the past four years, I can happily say I've enjoyed high school. From dances to yearbook to student government, I have met an incredible amount of people that have shaped me into the person I am today. Since I'm here for the bulk of my time, I've realized that the people I'm surrounded by are amazing. The teachers are willing to work with me and help me on something I do not fully understand. Also, the seniors are friendly to each other, which I love because a school with all girls could be catty but that is not the case at all. Ever since the eighth grade, I knew I wanted to come to Mount because I sensed the openness and sense of community when I visited. Now that I'm about to graduate, I can reflect on the time I've had here, and I realized how much I'm going to miss it. The Mount is like my second home because I'm comfortable with everyone here. While I'm happy to graduate and move on to college, I think graduation will be a bittersweet moment because I'm leaving my second home.

3. The most important factor that has shaped my identity is my mother. As cheesy as it sounds, my mother and I are very good friends. Even though we have fights at least once a week, I love her more than anything in the world. I think she has shaped my identity because she guided me to be the person that I am today. I know I can come to her with any problem or for advice or just to talk, and I know she'll always be up to listen to me. Also, I think she helped in my identity because she was a parent but also let me be independent. She let me make mistakes but then she also helped me correct them at the same time. I think that's the biggest way in which she shaped my identity because I am a very stubborn and independent person, and it's remarkable that she put up with my personality for all these years and still showed me how to learn from my mistakes.